The Married Man

When you meet people, you naturally don't assume that they're married. After the first few conversations, you can kinda figure can it out if it hasn't been announced. No? Well in this case, it wasn't like that. 

Miami Beach Fall 2011

Lap Dance Tuesdays used to be one of the best nights in Miami. Spur of the moment night, we decided to reserve a table. It was only 2 of us but we had so much fun. The guys next to us were having a good time as well and one on particular kept making his way over to me. We watched the pole competition & ended up dancing for the later part of the night. He was flying back to overseas in the morning but we exchanged BBM pins and went out separate ways. 

The communication was constant. He was a nice dude but what the hell am I supposed to do with somebody who lives between London and Nigeria with occasional trips to the USA? 

A few months later:

I get a text with an itinerary. He's coming back to the states. Miami is a few days away & he wants to hang out. I was off so I get to Fontainebleau and go upstairs. The lights are out except for the bathroom and the tv. He asks if I want to order something & insists on ordering a bottle of champagne. We finish it and he goes to get ready for dinner. Cecconi's it is. He invited my friend (who is nearby) and I but I use that as my excuse to leave. We go our separate ways And I wish him safe travels for his flight. 

*insert communication here* 

Time goes by, we speak occasionally. He asks me to advance our "friendship" and suggests that I be apart of his company as a liaison between the east coast and Nigeria. It required me to travel etc so I considered the option but politely declined. 

Recently: I get a text. He's planning a business meeting in the states and will have a few days to play around with. Ok cool. Maybe I'll be around, maybe I won't. I get an email.. 

It's his WIFE. Where the hell did he get a wife from? Why was she never mentioned? This is part of the "exchange". 

Having a wife changes things. I wouldn't knowingly deal with a married man. IF I ever decided to, he would definitely deserve to get a run for his money. 

Fast forward: he arrives in Miami. Apparently, I'm supposed to be at Cameo. I stand him up. I'm good bro. 

Another reason why "Niggas Ain't Shit"..

Best Sex Ever

So, a friend and I ended up at lunch last week with a pretty cool (and well known) person and his friends. It was just a beautiful day around cool people. At some point during it all, the topic of sex came up. No in an x-rated, “let’s leave here” way but more so in an inquisitive sense. Everyone there had a few years on us so I guess it was kind of informative on our parts (at least speaking for myself it was). He asked at what age, where at, things along those lines. Also, if there was ever a case where you HAD to be drunk in order to have sex with a person. Personally, I don’t want to HAVE to get drunk. That basically means you don’t want to (or you’re a prostitute). Don’t get me wrong, drunk sex is pretty fun but not sloppy drunk sex. Just enough to push you along, if need be. Then came the “do you remember the best sex you’ve ever had?” question. For the first time, in a long time, I was stuck. I thought about it and after a few seconds he yelled out, “NOPE! You took too long”. I laughed but then I really sat there thinking, “what was the best sex I've ever had?”. Was it a drunken night? Was it a tie? Seriously. When? Where? Who? I’ve had some pretty damn good days/nights but I couldn’t come up with the ONE that I’ll never, ever forget because it was that damn good. So now, almost a week later, I’m still thinking. LOL DAMMIT!

This cant be life.

New beginnings...

When I stopped looking for it, it found me.
When I closed my eyes to embrace the darkness, the light came through.
When I stopped thinking about them, I fell for you.
So many wells have run dry. All of these years flew by.
Standing still on an 8 lane highway.
Traffic going & coming.
Yet I'm still. Not running.
Before it all became, it was.
Was useless.
Was stressful.
Was pointless.
Was regretful.
Now? I love it.
I earned it.
I deserve it.
We deserve this.
Those around me stepped back. Faded to black.
But I guess it's now mutual.
These barren crops became so fruitful.
Love.
I'm almost certain that what it is.
I'm pretty sure that's what it will be.
Growing. Progressing. Let us love & accept this blessing.
Be driven. Be motivated.
Be in love. Be together.
Forget the opposition. The questions.
The doubters.
Understand the purpose. Prove it's worth it.

Tainted

Love once so innocent. So pure. So genuine.

Now so tainted. So evil. So detrimental.

Much of a burden.

All love isn't “good love”. I don’t need THAT love.

Let me live. Let me breathe. Let me prosper & be happy.

Please.

Love like life depends on it.

It does. Just not ours.

Something we’ve longed for & never wanted to forget.

Something so powerful. Moving mountains was a breeze.

Sudden change.

Air turned still. Nights got cold. Skies turned gray.

Prepare for this storm.

Feels the wrath.

No love like that of a Wo(man) scorned.

You don’t always get what you put in or what you want.

But you WILL get something, nonetheless.

Lessons may be the greatest.

When we walk away from each other, don’t make this hard.

Don’t kill me. I don’t want to die.

Just as those before & after me, let me live.

Move on & keep moving.

Become idle at your own risk.

Lets not blame. Lets not point. Lets love..

Lets love someone other than each other.

Let me love me first.

Priority.

Tainted as can be, I’ll still love after you as I did before.

Just one step closer to the one who was made for me.

Have I already met my match or is that who is coming up behind you?

Don’t block my view.

Let me live.

So tainted yet the next one wont pay for your mistakes.

Love.

Perfect Strangers

We went from complete strangers to feeling complete with the strangeness. A force to be reckoned with, these feelings may turn too dangerous.

So fast. So sudden. Before we knew it we were fu.. Nah never mind. Lets just scratch that line.

Those 1st hours turned to a day. Days turned to weeks. Now it's months later and everything still seems sweet.

This "honeymoon" phase is just begging to end. Asking to put the guard up. Asking to remain as "friends".

But with all due respect, how can u expect to be a friend to the only one u really want to let.... Let in. Let love. Let listen. Let christen, these brand new linens, and indulge in all of this "healthy sinning"??

How can I look at you the same after these nights we shared? How can we both move on like neither of us cared?

I'm not pushing nor pulling, I'm just being realistic. You keep throwing these signs & There's no way I can miss it.

Somehow, someway we found “love” in a place so hopeless. With no cares in the world, yet not losing any focus.

Who says its wrong? Or that this “love” is high risk and filled with danger? Nobody knows better than us. Why cant we remain two perfect strangers?

Price Of Friendship

 

 

The price of friendship. You earn it and lend it. Trying to get it back may break it or mend it. So before selling yourself short, please watch how you spend it.

The price may be high as gold or as low as gum, only good when its good and only fun when its fun. In the meantime, in between time, the communication is off. What’s the reconnection fee? How much will it cost?

The foundation was strong, it took years to build. Yet the damage is done, the milk has spilled. To clean it up or cry? That is the question. This is definitely one of life’s major lessons.

No need for a receipt, no exchange or return. We’ll just work it out, no need to let it burn. Supply & demand, lets level the turf. No amount of money will determine our worth.

Where’s the mediator? We need a neutral being. We only hear what we hear. Only see what we’re seeing. No choosing side. No placing blame. Just a common ground is the reason we came.

We have to get right before its all too late. Only time will reveal this friendship’s fate. So if you listen to me then I’ll listen to you. The moral if the story is, “I love you, Boo!”

End Note: Nobody is perfect so there’s no way a relationship or friendship can be. Sometimes too much time together and not enough time apart will put the ultimate strain on it but together, everybody can get it right. Personalities clash but hey, get with it or get lost. Some “situations” deserve to be let go but make sure you have a damn good reason. Loyalty over royalty… just don’t interfere with my livelihood.

Something Like A Dear John Letter

Its been a while but… Im back, Sorta.

I’m sure this isn't how it was suppose to be.
We're in this room, face to face with passion filled eyes, pleasure running through our veins.
What are the consequences? 
Lets just cross that bridge when we get there.
Right now, I'm just reaping the rewards.
Do we continue "this" or go back to "normal"?
What does normal even mean anymore? 
The 1st time it felt so right. Like nothing can come between us. Nothing came between us but we came. .
At that moment be became closer than ever.
But was it worth it?
Is more than “this friendship” really our purpose?
Let's get in this bed we made together.
Get close. Now it's me & you.
There’s no title but we understand.
I think the feeling is mutual.
Correct me if I'm incorrect.
The next time.... It felt real.
One time isn't fine with me.
We had time.
Time to explore. Time to talk. Time to feel. Time to play.
No wrong can be done. All is well in the world.
Before I knew it... You were gone.
Missing without a trace.
Was it something I said??
Look me in my face.
Same sad love song.
Separate ways sometimes make for better days.
Let's agree to disagree & make "this" thing history.