Price Of Friendship

 

 

The price of friendship. You earn it and lend it. Trying to get it back may break it or mend it. So before selling yourself short, please watch how you spend it.

The price may be high as gold or as low as gum, only good when its good and only fun when its fun. In the meantime, in between time, the communication is off. What’s the reconnection fee? How much will it cost?

The foundation was strong, it took years to build. Yet the damage is done, the milk has spilled. To clean it up or cry? That is the question. This is definitely one of life’s major lessons.

No need for a receipt, no exchange or return. We’ll just work it out, no need to let it burn. Supply & demand, lets level the turf. No amount of money will determine our worth.

Where’s the mediator? We need a neutral being. We only hear what we hear. Only see what we’re seeing. No choosing side. No placing blame. Just a common ground is the reason we came.

We have to get right before its all too late. Only time will reveal this friendship’s fate. So if you listen to me then I’ll listen to you. The moral if the story is, “I love you, Boo!”

End Note: Nobody is perfect so there’s no way a relationship or friendship can be. Sometimes too much time together and not enough time apart will put the ultimate strain on it but together, everybody can get it right. Personalities clash but hey, get with it or get lost. Some “situations” deserve to be let go but make sure you have a damn good reason. Loyalty over royalty… just don’t interfere with my livelihood.

Too Little, Too Late

They always say that you shouldn’t put off for tomorrow what can & should be done today. I think that’s how the quote goes. When I got up this morning, It felt like any other day. I wished my cousin a happy birthday and left the house. I looked at Twitter and noticed that a girl I follow & know through mutual friends had mentioned that she lost her mother a year ago today. I wanted to say something to her but all I could come up with was a generic tweet…

8:32am: “With all the losses I’ve experienced… I still don’t know the right words to say to others when they lose someone. :/”

I went to work and began my shift. While away from my desk, I noticed I had a missed call and text from my cousin. As I was replying, another cousin called so I picked up & immediately I knew something was wrong. The first thing she asked was if I had spoken to my mother. My heart dropped to the floor. When I told her no… She told me that my mom had found my grandfather this morning when she woke up. He was unresponsive. See the thing is, she had just gotten up to NY from Charlotte to help take care of him. We had found out he had liver cancer literally 2 weeks ago. She and my aunt had been there around the clock since then.

It freaked me out a bit when I thought into it a little deeper. It almost seemed as if he waited until he got his two baby girls together to go in peace. I can’t imagine how my mother feels being the one to be there with him. However, I am happy that they were able to see each other before he was taken home. I won’t question God’s ways but I wish I would have done things differently. She told me to call him the day she found out but I kept putting it off. I wanted to know more about his progress and not ask too many questions. I should have. If I knew yesterday what was going to happen today, I would have done more. I’m sure he knows my heart and he knows I think about him everyday and wish I would have called. Shit just sucks.

As kids, my cousin and I were his little princesses. We always got SO excited when Grandpa Tootsie came around. Not only was he cool, he always had envelopes full of money for us. So many memories that I wish could have been more. We always spoke through emails and recently through Facebook but I never got the chance to go back to his apartment and talk. Now, that option is no longer there.

Too Little, Too Late…

If you have a relative you rarely speak to, send a text, email, call, something. You never know when your last time speaking to them will be.

Rest In Peace Newton Lightfoot or to us, Grandpa Toostie

The Pleasure Was All Mine...

I can honestly say I'm disgusted with certain people who are in my life. That goes for family and "friends" alike The difference is, I didnt have an option with family. Friends... that's all me so you live and you learn.

What I don't like is when you help someone and make a big deal about it. Some people can only repay you what you gave them or a sincere "Thank you" and life long friendship. Anything more is pushing it.  If you're going to complain about helping people or expect a fcking parade, you have life all misconstrued. When most people are in need, they simply go without. In certain cases, your help is vital for their survival. You bragging about it only makes people wonder if you do things just to talk about it or to throw it in someones face. Most of the favors or helping hands I lend are forgotten. I don't log it, I just do it and continue with my life. That's how it should be. Everyone is not like me though. I help people because I'm a kind-hearted person and I want to see people do better. 

In a nut-shell.. Thanks for the "favors" or helping hands. Your assistance is no longer needed or wanted.

Don't be shady! Don't complain! Or simply Don't do any favors!

You'll probably mess up your own blessings but who's blessings I know??

People will probably snitch and/or think this is about them but who fcking cares?

The Pleasure Was All Mine...  Bump you & Good Day!

*Drops Mic*

Rest In Peace Ashley McThay

If you knew Ashley, you know how genuine she was. She would tell you in a heartbeat if you were being “messy”. For that, everyone loved her.
Last week, my friend was called home way before we wanted. I still find myself thinking about it but seeing her at her viewing with that glow made me more at peace with the situation. She did her part and touched hundreds of lives. Although, people decided to almost ruin HER day, she watched over us as those 6 or so shots rang out in the darkness.
I can still hear her getting all excited about going out. Or asking where her dawg Ev at. Lol. When I cut my hair she couldn’t believe it. She said “Chan!! Nawwww… u cut it?? U crazy! I thought you would NEVERRR cut yo hair!!”
Such is a beautiful person. She had a lot of people who loved/love her and she will continue to influence lives even though she is no longer physically here.
Thank you all for the donations. Together, we were able to cover Ashley’s funeral costs. Such a blessing.
Until we meet again.
We Love Ash Cash
(side note) OMG… as I type this, I decided to check my files ONE more time to find some missing pix of Ash, Jea & I… I FOUND EM!!! im sooo happy!

Tonight… I Cried

I don’t think I’ve ever been much of a cry baby since I left elementary school. I’ve always had this “tough as nails” attitude. I guess that’s the Cancer in me. And this year, apparently I was a Leo also so we know how Leo’s are. lol. Well anyway.. I had a long talk with one of the most important people in my life… Chanda. If you can’t put two and two together (Chan…) we’re first cousins on my dad’s side. We speak often but not as often as we should. So when we do speak, its usually a lot to go over. Well with all the catching up we did, I got a bit emotional. Mainly because the story I was telling her Hurt. I guess when you say things out loud, It’s a lot more different than when you are going over it in your head. It felt good though. I keep a smile on my face because I have a lot to be thankful for and a lot to look forward to in life. I don’t purposely “bottle up” my feelings, It’s just me. No need in crying to any and everyone who will listen. I’d rather talk about music or something entertaining. Venting is good for me though. That’s how I got into writing poems and little raps when I was younger. I haven’t in a good while but soon, I’ll start back up. Not just for me but maybe somebody I know (or you know) can use some words or someone to relate to them. No more crying for a while though. That sh*t is wayyy over rated. Lol.

Tat Tat Tatted Up....

It's just something about ink that drives me INSANE. Ever since I got my 1st tattoo at 16, I've been hooked. Not completely tatted but enough 2 satisfy my own guilty pleasures. Big, Small, Color, Black & grey, Symbols, Works, Pictures.. Its just SO much that comes to mind, so many different ways to express your thoughts. I'm currently at four pieces... 5 if u wana get technical. Since a picture tells a thhousand words.. "like to hear it, here i go!!" (My very 1st tat is not pictured, i'll post it later)

THIS is my most meaningful piece. I LOVE explaining it, LOVE what it stands for.. Just LOVE LOVE LOVE it. For those of you who dont know me personally, "MTJC" Stands for: Melissa, Teddy, Jamell (RIP) & Chantel. They are my closest cousins.. in order from oldest to, Me. Lol. We've done everything together. From getting locked on roofs, stealing candy & pocket knives (dont ask) to punishment to sleepovers, u name it, we probably did it. Messing with either of them = an automatic "kick yo ass 1st, might ask later." =)

To finish off the piece, I have an anklet, with a lock. Pretty self explanatory, if u ask me. This was the easy part. The letters are what really kicked my behind. It hurt so badly, I couldn't think straight. lol. But u know what they say, No Pain, No Gain!! It was all VERY much worth it in the end.. Wouldn't change it for the world.

And for the most controversial piece, my Black Roses. Located ever-so-conveniently on  my right hip. FYI, I got this on June 23, 2007.. wayyyy before the Trey Songz track. Even though it DOES sing out the meaning of my tattoo. It is what it is. Not regrets, Just lessons learned. ((o9.2o.o5)).

So according to my mother, this is the little toy go-round thing that hangs in a crib. LOL. Who asked her?! No, I dont play an instrument but music plays a BIG role in my family. Music takes me to another place. Seals wounds, Fades bruises, Cures aches and pains. =) Something about being able to feel a song to the point U sing it like u wrote it. Honestly, I let the artist freestyle this. I'm happy with my decision. He had those colors poppin like im a red bone. lol.