Jacki-O ((How U Been))

I’ve been following Jacki-O (The Madam of Miami) since I first heard “Nookie” back in ‘03. I remember it used to come on the radio like 352 times a day. My mom was sooo tired of hearing it. Lol. Neway, I checked her out online & downloaded a few songs from “Kazaa”. I was hooked. I couldn’t wait for new songs to drop. I was a complete supporter. THIS is how I learned about the Poe Boy movement. Last I heard was the Brisco beef. That shit broke my heart as if I was down with them. (Don’t judge me, I’m sensitive. lol)As of late, I haven’t really heard anything about her but i DID come across a new song from her (via The305). I listened to it once and it wasn’t horrible so that means I download it & give it a 2nd listen. I fuxx wit Jack though. I’m excited.
Check it out Below…

Never Can Say Goodbye

Sometimes, We hold in to things much longer than we should.  More often than not, life would probably be much easier if we’d just LET GO. This doesn’t just go for significant (or not so significant) others but Bad habits also. If u know me, u know how tough I've had to be throughout my 21 years. Sometimes i wonder why I’m not knocked up, strung out, or shonin etc etc… I just can’t do it. I want so much more for myself. I cant imagine puttin myself through more than I've already endured. I try to help everyone. I’m just THAT type of person. I cant help it. Today, my caring got the best of me. The ONE person that is supposed to do me NO harm, hurts me the most. Sh*t sucks. I cried. I mean, CRIED. My cousin snitched so my auntie & other cousin came in here to check on me. I'm thankful for them but it shouldn’t be this way. I feel like I cant escape from THIS. It’s hard to. I run back with open arms EVERYTIME. No matter how much this person hurts me, lies to me, leaves me, comes back… I ALWAYS accept it.. as if it’s normal and ok. I ALWAYS forgive. I ALWAYS look for the better in the situation. When is enough, ENOUGH?? When do u say fugg it?? When do u wash your hands of it all and go about your business?? I guess I’ll figure it out soon. *shrugs*

Lost Files.... Happy 21st Bday to Me!! ((July 22, 2009))

I must admit, I miss our after hours adventures. LOL. I think this may have been the best night ever... Thanks to my BFFs. Usually, we all cant get together but the whole squad came out for my 21st Bday. It was myself,  @Jazzi3Ron33, Sn3akrFr3akrr, @Jamrocksweetie, & Jin (cant remember her twitter). Originally supposed to go to the CBreezy & Lil Kim party @ Karu & Y.. we end up passing King of Diamonds & saw how SWOLE it was. After trying to find the entrance for an hour, we made it. Shout out to the ladies.. they Definitely give u your moneys worth.

Lil Kim & a sh*t load of other celebs end up at KOD anyway & SHUT IT DOWN.

Moral of the story is: I LOVE MY FRIENDS. Its always some type of Tom Foolery goin on. Miss u ladies & trannys *wink*. Until we meet again...

Say hello to the Birthday Girl. =) 

Here's A Tip... lol

Tat Tat Tatted Up....

It's just something about ink that drives me INSANE. Ever since I got my 1st tattoo at 16, I've been hooked. Not completely tatted but enough 2 satisfy my own guilty pleasures. Big, Small, Color, Black & grey, Symbols, Works, Pictures.. Its just SO much that comes to mind, so many different ways to express your thoughts. I'm currently at four pieces... 5 if u wana get technical. Since a picture tells a thhousand words.. "like to hear it, here i go!!" (My very 1st tat is not pictured, i'll post it later)

THIS is my most meaningful piece. I LOVE explaining it, LOVE what it stands for.. Just LOVE LOVE LOVE it. For those of you who dont know me personally, "MTJC" Stands for: Melissa, Teddy, Jamell (RIP) & Chantel. They are my closest cousins.. in order from oldest to, Me. Lol. We've done everything together. From getting locked on roofs, stealing candy & pocket knives (dont ask) to punishment to sleepovers, u name it, we probably did it. Messing with either of them = an automatic "kick yo ass 1st, might ask later." =)

To finish off the piece, I have an anklet, with a lock. Pretty self explanatory, if u ask me. This was the easy part. The letters are what really kicked my behind. It hurt so badly, I couldn't think straight. lol. But u know what they say, No Pain, No Gain!! It was all VERY much worth it in the end.. Wouldn't change it for the world.

And for the most controversial piece, my Black Roses. Located ever-so-conveniently on  my right hip. FYI, I got this on June 23, 2007.. wayyyy before the Trey Songz track. Even though it DOES sing out the meaning of my tattoo. It is what it is. Not regrets, Just lessons learned. ((o9.2o.o5)).

So according to my mother, this is the little toy go-round thing that hangs in a crib. LOL. Who asked her?! No, I dont play an instrument but music plays a BIG role in my family. Music takes me to another place. Seals wounds, Fades bruises, Cures aches and pains. =) Something about being able to feel a song to the point U sing it like u wrote it. Honestly, I let the artist freestyle this. I'm happy with my decision. He had those colors poppin like im a red bone. lol.

I Pity The Fool...

... Who tries to play ME for a fool. Just because someone APPEARS to be oblivious, doesn't mean that they actually ARE oblivious. Like C'Mon Son FukOuttaHereWitThatBullshitSon!! This REALLY goes for people that are supposed to know u, care about u, and (if u let them tell it).. LOVE u. People's emotions are not to be toyed with. So before you try to run game, u may want to give it a 2nd thought. Because on the really real.. NO peen or puss is worth a broken heart. Yes, it may be that "Wham Bam Thank You, Ma'am With A Grand Slam" (sorry, I was on a roll! lol) but still, its probably is not worth it.

The moral of the story is... I was born in the morning... not THIS morning.

Quit fuggin LYIN & (wo)man up!

Another Day In The Office

Posted in my office... Aka... On the couch. LOL. Headphones.. CHECK. Twitter..CHECK Ok. We're good to go. So I just figured out a lil camera trick with the Blackberry. I guess its aaight. Its not cartoon but it will have to do. =)

Love Lost

Its crazy how there's always a song that basically describes our exact emotions. To the point where you're wondering how the hell someone can be feeling the same way that you are. Scary, I know. lol




Reminiscing, I remember me and you we used to play with the dogs
While you were sleep iI'd stare, stare while you lay in my arms
And now im stuck on stupid rain forrest couldnt get wetter than you get
I used to beat it up you gave me your love I abused it now im facing the music

Oh how I yearn for your touch
I'm so lonely now that you left me
If I could run away you know I would
And I'm hurtin cause girl I never loved you like I should

When your love is lost
Your whole worlds thrown off
When the one you need dont need you
What do you do, when love is lost?

I was trippin wouldn't listen now I'm sitting sipping shots at the bar
Now im riding to the 90's hits listening to Aerosmith
"I dont wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep "
Tell me how I can I be fly without the wind beneath my wings

Oh how I yearn for your touch im so lonely now that you left me
If I could run away you know I would
And im hurtin cause girl I never loved you like I should

When your love is lost
Your whole worlds thrown off
When the one you need dont need you
What do you do, when love is lost?

And now I see
The man you need
When I look into the mirror I see change
And I close my eyes and wish you could see the same
But its too late

When your love is lost
Your whole worlds thrown off
When the one you need don't need you
What do you do?
When your love is lost
Your whole worlds thrown off
When the one you need dont need you
What do you do, when love is lost?

Lost gone out the window
When love is lost
Lost can't see your love no more
When the one you need don't need you
What do you do, when love is lost?

My Addiction

So easily I hide u but I know u can be seen,
When ur around u take control & I become a fiend
Ur everything I need, So bad yet so Good,
I don’t wana let go but my heart says I should.
This aint the kinda lovin’ that u find everyday,
So every chance I get, I make excuses just 2stay.
Please give me more. No matter morning, noon or nite,
This feeling is way too good so I kno it can’t b right.
Not yet. Don’t go. I’ve nearly reached my peak,
U use me til ur done then U Leave & don’t speak.
No goodybye or see u later. Its silence while u pass.
Im left standing in my glory, then comes the crash.
The desperation is crazy. I have to leave the room,
No fear. Im just trippin. I kno ull be back soon.
Then there’s a knock. I run and ask "who is it?"
The man I wanted to see came by to pay a visit.
We’re at it again & this time u really scare me
God, oh God, please help me if u hear me.
Ur hands r around my neck, im gasping for air.
I thought we were perfect but rite now u don't care.
Just like norma,l its break-ups 2 make-ups baby,
My family sees a problem but I think they’re crazy.
Ur all I need to live, never mind the rest.
I accept u flaws & all, in my eyes ur the best.
My body can’t take it anymore & neither can my heart,
I shoulda known u’d b a problem from the very start.
I’ve turned my back on my family, just to have ur touch,
They just don’t understand y I love u so much.
This has to be the end even though ill cry
I get weaker and weaker each time that I try.
U have that smirk on ur face, this is the last time,
So long, fare well to my partner in crime.
This is the toughest thing that I’ve done in years,
Packing my bags & leaving, all accompanied by tears.
Now ur all gone, except the small piece I had 2 save.
So sad yet so true, u r what took me to my grave.

Addiction is not a game. Please drink responsibly. There's more to life than drugs. The hardest part of life is watching the one u love the most kill them self with u in the room. Every1 needs someone. If u know some1 wit an addiction, PLEASE speak up. This comes from my heart. P.S. NO im not a coke head.. nor have i tried it.

All Because Of You... WIlma

This is from Hurricane Wilma. This was a very trying time for a lot of people that we're in South FL when the storm hit. Although we were not as bad as Katrina, This was a MAJOR hurricane for us.


What did we do, what called for this?
1st we were watching TV & now we can't see shit.
We just sit around bored with nothing to do,
Ever since your strong winds & rains came through.
When I look outside, its pure darkness I see,
Despite the fact that everyone says "It won't happen to me".
Most cars are damaged & houses are destroyed.
When the silence kicks in, I can still hear the noise.
It's hard to describe, something you can never forget,
But I guess nature called & we had to pay our debt.
I bet in your life you've seen many people fight for gas.
U could've at least warned us how to pay, no credit , just ca$h.
Everyone is hungry & the restaurants are closed,
The waters on a "boil" so when they'll shower, no one knows.
There's a strict curfew outside, and if you're caught, "that's yo ass".
Most stay inside to sleep & think, hoping this will all soon pass.
It's been a week without gas, electricity, or any power.
We went food shopping but all the food has gone sour.
I'd wish death on no one but if I see Wilma I'll fucking kill her.
This is real bad so I can't imagine what it was like living with Katrina.
At times like this you see ignorance at its best.
So this is when the people put their faith in God to the test.
My house was spared, so was Nanny's & Grandma's too,
Thankful as we are, the neighbors' walls and ceilings are see-through.
House phones aren't working, cell phones just the same.
I'm holding my dead phone now, Thanks Wilma, you're to blame.
It's not fair knowing that people are normally fighting for their life.
Now in a simple trip to Wal-Mart, you see them fighting over ice.
How come no one takes you seriously, no one thinks you're for real.
After this traumatizing experience, you showed us the real deal.
Both Bush's take the blame for FEMA's response,
Not realizing a hot meal & warm shower is what they want.
I bet you already know in a few days my Great-Grand Mother couldv'e died.
There was only 1 needle left in her insulin supply.
Please don't let it happen, we're all wishing & hoping,
Then someone shouts, "Look that WalGreens is open!"
Barely a week later & we're already forgotten about.
We weren't on the news yesterday so, today is a big doubt.
I was scared to death during the eye of the storm,
I know people were out thinking it's over but, boy was they wrong?
3.2 Million homes is a lot to be without electricity.
I try to use my days wise & not let it get to me.
I knew it would be hard & u proved me to be right,
How come Evans came Monday & just now left last night?
We're all stuck now, no gas stations, you're to thank.
If he knew it'd be like this, Sunday he would've filled his tank.
Looking for gas on "E" hoping we don't break down,
The stations are closed or too full so we have to turn around.
"E" doesn't mean enough & it won't get u far,
WTF, I hate this shit. What's the sense in having a car?
It's around 4:30am on a Sunday, all I can do is write & cry,
Now I'm hoping when I need it, my flashlight doesn't die.
Candlelit dinners are nice but not when it's all you have to use.
It seems like we're playing the game of life & it's likely that we'll lose.
My stomach is growling now & it's nothing here to eat,
So on that note, I'm tired & I think I'll go to sleep.

IT & THEM

Many would say "I came, I saw, I conquered". On the contrary, I'd simply say "I went, I experienced, and I'm over it".

IT has been holding me back, making me a prisoner or my own body. IT has interfered with my life, questioning my ability, morals and goals. IT has tried to pave a way of life but couldn't hold me down. Yea I said it, "THEY CANT HOLD ME DOWN!! I know THEY're thinking… "Shit, it doesn't take much to hold Chantel down, look at her". But I bet they never even looked at themselves. THEY Could NEVER walk an hour in my shoes.

Yes, I do speak with great candor and would never change for THEM or ANYONE. Nor will i be nice for the sake of sparing THEIR feelings. IT has led me to do pointless, degrading acts but I don't regret it. IT has made me say things I had no business saying but I won't take it back. IT has turned my fairytale life into something you'd only see in movies. IT has knocked on my door only to show 6 PBSO's with AK-47's, shot guns and hand guns drawn, ready to shoot a bitch. IT has entered my house only to deliver and collect what THEY don't deserve. IT has rampaged through the whole apartment only to have someone leave in cuffs and on a stretcher.

I know, THEY care nothing about me but I don't care. THEY want to see me sweat but you know what? I use Mitchum bitches, so effective you could skip a day. THEY'll NEVER get their "Time to Shine" on my part. IT wanted to destroy what we have and keep us from growing. THEY tried to break us up and wanted to see us unhappy. Yea rite it takes a lot more than that to make it Hap'n Cap'n. IT didn't think I could handle all of this but its NOTHING I can't handle and/or haven't handled already. After all THEY've done for me, I ought to be thanking THEM. IT saved me.

I'd like to say I'm very nice and friendly to those who are worthy. DON'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME. You should know I'm fully capable of losing all civility and put my foot in an ass. If you know somebody who thinks they can stop me, bring em so I can prance my cute ass right over and past them too. You're wondering who THEY are and what IT is huh?? Well… I guess THEY would have to be you and you'd have to be IT to know.

I'm A Bloggity Blogger!!

Soo, Finally... I'm gonna take this blogging thing seriously. I've made a Blogger in the past but never really put anything on it. I know, I know, It happens to the best of us. Lol.

Usually something drastic happens & it makes people want to share their story or some people just blog for the hell of it. In MY case.. it's a little bit of both. I should have started this a long time ago but whatever. *shrugs* Better late than never, right? With a little coaxing from a few of my Biffles.. We're I Am!

Well, I guess i'll let the blog do the talking. For starters, I'll bring my blogs from Myspace (yes, I said MYSPACE lol) over here. Hope u enjoy.. or hate.. or love.. or don't give a crap about what I say. As long as someone is reading.. I'm typing. Good Day my Good people. =)