Christmas Dreamin’

WTF kinda dream is this and why the freak did I remember the whole thing?? Like to hear it… here it go….

I was out taking pictures ALL day & it looked like I was in like 5 diff cities or countries bc I never saw half the shit in NY FL or anywhere else I've been. So I was out & was walking I guess home & it suddenly got dark. Like pitch black dark. & I couldn't see anything. So I went in the street and started running. All of a sudden I bumped into a group of guys & they we're getting ready to fight a guy so I guess they got mad at me for messing up the beginning of the fight & the dude took off running.
The lights started coming back on. They had guns & started pullin em out so I took off too.. But me & the guy they was looking for were dressed alike. I hid under a truck & then it was fully lit outside. So when he passed the truck he got dwn on the floor & pulled out the gun. So I started screaming & saying I'm a girl not the guy. So I crawled out & had my hands up & he took me back 2somebodies house. They had me sitting on the couch & the only mean one was the head nigga.
The homies or whoever they were was trying to find a way for him to let me go. I was begging & pleading & trying to explain that I didn't know buddy & I was just on my way home from some photo shoots.
He wasn't really listening that much & they just told me dnt say nothing 4a while. So I just sat there btwn 2big niggas & it was a dude sittin on the floor kinda near my legs. So when I looked at him it was the nigga they were chasing. They said a few words & then one of the shot him on top of his head. His body sat up 4 a good while then he slumped over. THEN a lady came downstairs & was giving everyone bazooka & BIG candy. Come to find out it was the guy that got 
shots mom but she didn't notice he was dead.
Then the boss went to the kitchen & they told me I need 2talk 2him str8 up & be confident but not cocky & try 2get him to let me go.
He didn't come back 4a while & I noticed he had a big ass walk in closet. It was shoes everywhere placed SUPER neat. So for whatever reason the brought me into the closet. & wanted to show me some new sneakers that he had & was the 1st one with. 
I must’ve touched the shoe & it came down. Then I put it back the wrong way so they fixed it so he wouldn't notice. Then the guys disappeared & 2girls were there & started talking to me about shoes. They sat in the closet while I was on a couch outside the closet.
They asked how many I had & I said like 10.. & they looked disgusted. So I'm telling them I used 2have shoes lined around my closet & room but gave them away & I don't really get 2wear them anyway cuz I wear my work shoes & flip flops the most.
So they had some big ass hair tie that looked like pants & I heard her say come help me tie her. But I thought she wanted me to help wrap the other girls hair. So I'm like how? & they both looked at me & laughed. Then they got up & started comin out the closet with it & then I woke up.

FIN.. THE END.

Shit Crazy!!!

Thousand Ones Remix DZ ft. C-Ride

I’ll keep this short and sweet…
Make sure yall download Thousand ones Remix.
Great collabo.
SNAPPIN HOEEAAAHHH!!!
#VNeckGang Affiliated
& Follow them on Twitter… comedy & music.
DZ THE RAPPER                   C Ride Hoeaaahhh!!
Thousand Ones Remix DZ The Rapper ft. C-Ride

Oh yea… Check out @MissLexyDiva dancing to Thousand Ones.. U Already Know!!

Sexy Lexyyyy!!!

Tis’ The Season…

As Christmas approaches, I can’t help but to think of my blessings. Of course I’m not as hyped up about Christmas like when I was a kid but it does bring back a lot of memories. And eff it… who doesn’t love presents?? As we know, many are unable to celebrate with gifts etc etc because they can’t afford it. I respect people who put their priorities in order. That’s the adult thing to do.

More often than not, we take the small luxuries we have for granted. When I had a car… I used to put major miles on it. I was paying for it so sh*t… Why not?? Now that I don’t have one at the moment.. Its hard but I don’t NEED a vehicle to survive. Its just a matter of convenience. As long as I can get to work and back, I really don’t care. People complain about how hot somebodies house is but think about the winter months and people who will damn near freeze to death because there is no heat.

I think about things like this on a regular but what REALLY made me was the fact that I sat in Miami Subs today after work and picked at my crispy chicken platter. After about 20mins, I ended up throwing away most of the chicken. As soon as I walked outside, I realized there was the homeless man that’s always on 6th ave & 167th. I’m sure he would have loved the food. No to mention its like 40 degrees outside. I felt like absolute crap. So… instead of saying “Next time” I called him over and asked if he had dinner. He said no so I took him in Miami subs for something to eat. When I came back, the staff was asking if I forgot something or needed something else. I just said no & gave the guy the meal ticket. As I walked out the door, one of the cooks stopped me and said “Thank you, I don’t know of ANY young person who has or will do something like that. You have a good heart.” We spoke for a few minutes and I was on my way down 6th.

The moral of the story is what good is it having money or life’s luxuries if you are selfish? I’m not rich by far but I do have a job and $5 is not going to break my pockets.

Happy Holidays to all.

-Chan

Mp3 Invasion…

Ok so before I came back to FL… I had a few things in the works. I had LOTS of free time on my hands etc etc so I was presented with an opportunity that was pretty good. I got kinda sidetracked and fell off a little bit but today makes my 1st OFFICIAL post with MP3 Invasion. Woot Woot!! DJ Dirt Dawg is a good dude and I support his projects completely. And – being that I agreed to this so long ago, I gotta keep my face clean. =)

Make sure yall check out:

 MP3 Invasion

DJ Dirt Dawg

Street Connect DJs

& Then... My Heart Stopped

When I saw you, I KNEW I had to have you. Not in that sexual way but more like a friendly way. You know the kind where you can't stop singing "This could be something. Or maybe its just nothing at all....at all"??
Something you did caught my eye & I can't lie... I Loved It! Nothing Big. Just something about it was cool. Never mind who you are to THEM. I want to know you for myself... In my own special way. So - I wait. Patiently waiting to make a move. Usually I play the background. Low key. Observe. No need to be the center of attention.
Most of the time, when I see something I like, I won't say anything. Its not that I'm shy.. I just don't want to ruin my fantasy by you saying something stupid. LOL. But THIS was different. I'll take that chance.

No pressure.

No relationship talk.

Just enjoying each others company. Just good, wholesome fun.

Shortly after... We Met.

And Then... My Heart Stopped.

((Ps... This is old... & NOT about anyone specific. Just random thoughts. So with that being said... Don't try to guess or assume. Thanks in advance))

Hate To See You Smile

Its sad when people who you thought were on your team are secretly against you. Of course everyone wont agree with your actions and choices but who are they to talk shit in the first place? What have you done in life that makes you an expert or even worthy of commenting in such a way? THIS is why I live for ME. THIS is why I don’t talk to a lot of people on certain levels. People wonder why I’m distant. Wonder why I stay to myself a lot of the time. Wonder why we never have anything to talk about. Some people are only happy for you when their own lives are going the way they want it to. That’s messed up. If you’re going to be down for me.. it should be done regardless of how sucky your life is at the moment. If you wasn’t so busy being a Negative Nelly, you might’ve been able to feed off of my drive, success and life lessons.

Positive + Positive = Positive. Simple math.

The moral of the story is:

I need LOYALTY on my team. Don’t Be A Hater, Hooeeaahhh!!

Addicted To The Ink…

FINALLY!!! Piece number 5. =) Its been a little less tha 24 hours and I’m ready for my next one. I still have about 6 more that need to be drawn up. Neways… Here it goes. Of course it has meaning behind it. This “time” has played a MAJOR role in my life for the past 5 years. Damn… I cant believe its been THAT long. This was my 1st time gettin ink’d in 2 years. & my 1st time gettin ink’d by a chick.. Not bad!!
Shout out 2 Sarah at Fat Buddah Tattoos on 167th & 6th.. Nxt to the Miami Subs!!
Even when I’m “serious” I’m clownin.

Getting There…

Finished product. =) Thanks Sarah!!
Now I’m just waiting for him to kiss me on my tattoos. :)

The Hooptie!!

“Mine all Blue with the big dents… Cant wait to go to Swap and get some damn tints!!” – Chan
“I go fast in these muthafuxxin lanes nigga!!!” - Chan
YES!!! I FINALLY got another car (a week after my bday). Its been 1 year… 8months & 2 weeks since i ever so gracefully lost control after hydroplaning in the express lanes leaving Dade at 2am. Oh.. I was on my way to drop my car off & get my bag so i can fly 2 NY 4 a few hrs & come back. SMFH!
Its not my lil pretty brand new Civic but it rides out!! lol. After my accident, things went crazy. But I still say it was a blessing in disguise. I’m once again happy though. THATS the important part.
No pictures please!! Not yet at least.
After several failed attempts to get a car… It finally happened. And of course that was a semi- #FAIL also. Womp womp!! I gave them my last $1500 & drove off… only to break down the NEXT DAY!! SMFH. Blah. $300 and a new fuel pump later… I’m slidinnnnn *Brisco voice* lol.
Thanks you all ( you know who you are) for helping me out. Thank the public transpo systems of Palm Beach, Broward & Dade (even though I only used the Dade buses 2 times lol.)
It actually feels GREAT not having any car payments. Even though I’d take a more reliable car any day! I’ll ride out with the Hoop for a little bit then upgrade when the time is right or it breaks down.. which ever happens first lol.
Catch me in traffic Bitchesssss!!!! =) Woot Woot!!

Break Up Song…

“Its Over. She Got Colder Now. Can’t Locate Where Her Heart Is…”

No

matter how long it’s been, I think the hardest part of breaking up is having to meet someone new. I guess we become so content with the person we’ve been with and really don’t care to add anything to the mix while we’re subtracting. If it was up to me, I’d talk to the same person forever. Not because I’m anti-social but more because I like some level of uniformity and consistency. But then again, I guess that’s why people get married. *shrugs*

Example: I’ve met probably a half dozen people since my official break up with E*A & guess what… They all suck for the most part. Its not that I don’t take people seriously… well maybe that is my problem. lol. If I can’t have the real thing, I still wont settle for less. Not trying to compare anyone but thinking realistically, Who the hell wants to downgrade by THAT much??

No offense but when you’re used to certain things, It’s kinda hard to just go with out. Maybe that’s what I need though. Maybe I’m supposed to switch it up and move on to something fresh and new. If you know me & knew the situation, you know that there’s a certain level of respect and love that can never be lost for this man. So when I say ((o9.2o.o5)), It’s more than just a date.

So when I hear Wale’s ((Break Up Song)) It touches a certain spot. If you don’t like it… I don’t give a damn! *Pops Voice* Anyway… Part of me wishes things were better. The other part wants to not care. Another part is just confused. #JudgeMeIfUWant But who da fugg is you?!

((No Love Lost))

Tonight… I Cried

I don’t think I’ve ever been much of a cry baby since I left elementary school. I’ve always had this “tough as nails” attitude. I guess that’s the Cancer in me. And this year, apparently I was a Leo also so we know how Leo’s are. lol. Well anyway.. I had a long talk with one of the most important people in my life… Chanda. If you can’t put two and two together (Chan…) we’re first cousins on my dad’s side. We speak often but not as often as we should. So when we do speak, its usually a lot to go over. Well with all the catching up we did, I got a bit emotional. Mainly because the story I was telling her Hurt. I guess when you say things out loud, It’s a lot more different than when you are going over it in your head. It felt good though. I keep a smile on my face because I have a lot to be thankful for and a lot to look forward to in life. I don’t purposely “bottle up” my feelings, It’s just me. No need in crying to any and everyone who will listen. I’d rather talk about music or something entertaining. Venting is good for me though. That’s how I got into writing poems and little raps when I was younger. I haven’t in a good while but soon, I’ll start back up. Not just for me but maybe somebody I know (or you know) can use some words or someone to relate to them. No more crying for a while though. That sh*t is wayyy over rated. Lol.

Dade County Bound…

If you’re following me on Twitter or my friend on Face Book, you know I send quite a bit of time in Miami. This has been going on for yrs now.. So it’s not something that just happened. Even my mother asks me if I’m in Miami before we can get into a convo. Whether I’m in North Miami Beach, Sunny Isles Beach, Lil Haiti, Brownsville, South Beach, Downtown…. I’m all over the place and know my way around. With that said, I’ve pretty much decided that I’ll be getting a place in Miami. It’s a completely personal decision and no outside influences helped make this decision. But if you know me, you also know I’m not easily pressured.
With THAT being said, I’m expecting all kinds of visitors as soon as I get settled in. And I probably will spend a lot of time ALONE… in the comfort of my own apt. =) (Wow, that was a completely contradictory statement. LOL.) I already have this scenario in my head that once I move, I can get a few things cleared up.. I can relax.. And most importantly, I don’t have to answer my door if I don’t want to. I miss saying that. I have a goal in mind so… I’ll slowly be making my way downtown to my condo with a orgasmic view of the city. You only live once and I intend on living it up as best I can. Youuuuu Feellll Meeee!?!??! (DJ Dirt Dawg voice)
If you have anything negative to say about this decision, just know I don’t care… =) Unless you’re paying rent, “Uhhh… I’m sorry, were you saying something??” hehe
Now Playing – Live Fast, Die Young ((Rick Ross ft. Kanye West))

I’ll Be Moving On…

I’ll keep this short and sweet…
Ok… This may be long over due but I operate on my OWN terms. I think I’m FINALLY ready to let go of the past. I’m not going to go into details but just know it’s worth it. I’m an understanding and forgiving person but I’m not going to waste valuable time on something that not there. SO with THAT being said,

“I wish you well. I wish you wealth. I wish you life. I wish you health. I wish you right, cuz I aint wrong. & You the reason why I wrote this fuxxin’ song!”

Now Playing: Ghost Wridah ((Kill You In My Nightmares))

BBM Blast…

So we all can agree that BBM Blasts can be THE single-handedly most annoying thing ever! Especially the ones promoting parties in states you don’t live in. Can’t forget the “Who’s up?! What yall doin?? Talk to me” Blasts. Like seriously… get a life!! lol. But today, I got the same blast about 6 times and each time I read it, It stuck out more in my mind. I mean to the point I’m going to highlight it in my personal Bible.

Revelation 3:8
When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, Trust Him fully and let go. Only one of two thing will happen. Either He’ll catch you when you fall or He’ll teach you how to fly. God closes doors no man can open and opens doors no man can close.

This in particular touched me because if you read my post about Karma… I talked about being on the edge of the cliff and someone letting you stand there.

My example is: There's someone on a cliff reaching out for your help and instead of extending your arm, you just look at them and walk away.

But I never thought about God leading me there and giving me one of the two options. So tonight, we’ll talk. I know I’ve been calling on him a lot lately but I’ve always had a good relationship with Him. Just wanted to share that. =)

Karma...

If I don't believe in ANYthing else... I believe in Karma. Both Good & Bad. This is how I look at it.. All the things you do in life.. The WILL come back to you in one way or the other. So while you're out doing evil things and trying to ruin peoples lives or taking advantage of people so that your situation works out in your favor... Its already in the works to be returned to you. It may not happen right away, but please believe its coming. "Everything u done to me already been done to you!" LOL.
But seriously. I don't sweat anything anymore. I know everyone has their time to pay up. I've never been a bitter person or the type to hold grudges for ever because I figure, if I can forgive my mom for all the things she put me through, I can get past anything. And anyone who knows Chantel, KNOWS my character and the type of person I am. I'm not a person of multiple personalities but when you know *Me* You usually know a lot more about me & my story.
Neway... My example is: There's someone on a cliff reaching out for your help and instead of extending your arm, you just look at them and walk away. I see it happen all to often. Both personally and with people I know. In most situations, right & wrong are very easy to distinguish. Its just a matter of if you will do the right thing.

I say that to say this...
"Karma Is A Bitch.. But I Treat Her Like A Queen. Play Fair Or Get FUXXED." =)

Exposed….

  So this morning, I noticed some foul shit on Twitter. A friend of mine had a picture on Twitter… that she didn’t put up. So naturally, I ask her (Not RT it) & of courseeee It wasn’t supposed to be there. It was a nice looking, not raunchy pic but either way, it was not intended for the whole Twitter world to see it. The SUPER foul part is it was her ex who did it. Badd Chicks usually attract psycho paths… I’m not sure the chemistry that’s involved but somehow, It happens that way. Niggas I tell you!! Can’t we all just break up, move on and continue living life?? And THIS is why I don’t send pictures of myself. Yes, I’m guilty of sending some interesting pix to my ex but he has NEVER been a Pussy Nigga… And besides that, I know all of his important info so it wouldn’t be hard to destroy his life. I don’t think he’d do that anyway.

SO… I say THAT to say THIS.. If you want to see me naked… You must see me in person. Thanks. =)

“Pussy Niggas Don’t Change” - Vee

In Love With My Future…

Ya’ll probably see my BBM status or Twitter update saying this quite often. There’s a GREAT reason behind it. Not only am I REALLY In Love With My Future.. I’m supporting #TheNewMiami & GhostWridah. If you’re not familiar, He’s an extremely talented artist out of Miami, Fl. I’ve been following him for about 6months months now & I’m definitely blown away. I think Prima (of iBlog126) posted his “Red Bottoms” record and I fell in love with his style (If you’re looking for that D-Boy, Hood shit.. This is NOT what you’re looking for). That in turn led to me downloading 305 & Heartbreaks which is a remake of Kanye’s album. His latest project, “In Love With My Future” was released a few hours ago and I’m super excited. It feels like I’ve been waiting forever but I’m sure its well worth the wait. As soon as my neighbor’s Wi-Fi acts right, I’ll be able to enjoy it also. =) LOL. & Shout out to the artist behind this album cover work! I LOVE IT!!
Download Here ---> In Love With My Future – GhostWridah
Follow Ghostwridah on Twitter ---> @_GhostWridah_
Check out his website ---> www.GhostWridah.com

Who Is This Girl???

Sooo.. The past few days, my horoscope has been telling me to Network and that people love the new, wilder me since I’m “breaking out of my shell”. Never really thought I had much of a shell except for not letting people in but whatever. I completely go by what its been saying though. This has been a VERY interesting week. Spent time with people I don’t see often but fuxx with HEAVY. Met lots of cool people. Went some places. Had some drinks. Got some piercings.. etc etc. All without smudging my make-up… too much. (wink wink) ;-)

Neways… My bday is in a month (July 22nd.. mark your calendar!)!! Woot Woot!! With alil help from the road dawgs… I’m planning a lil pool party, cookout type thing. Hopefully I won’t remember that day but will have lots of pix to tell me the story. Info coming soon. Yeaaaa!! =)

Maybe 1 day ill post a NSFW pic of the new additions but until then… I’ll continue to flash people. LOL. (j/k but 4real)

& I’ve been slacking on my blogging but sometimes we all need a break from things in life. JUST KNOW… I’ll be back momentarily!!

Memorial Day Weekend Miami Recap

Ok… I’ll keep this short and sweet. No clubs. No Drama. No Arrests. No Fights. We did however have lots of fun and didn’t go home broke trying to stunt. Booooo!!! Fuxxin losers. lol. I also got to see some friends that I haven’t seen in years. That alone made my weekend worth while.

Food… Friends…. Alcohol… Stuck in an elevator… Laughing… Alcohol… Beach… Cat Nap… Food… Alcohol… Beach… Friends… Walking… Beach… Cat Nap… Alcohol… Food… Bye. LOL

Hospitalized!!!

OMFG!! I can’t believe this shit. After DYING to go back 2 Bubba Gump Shrimp Company, we go. So, Its already started off as a bad night when we couldn't find decent parking because of the Haitian Festival. Then the waiter kept forgetting parts of our order. I finish my shrimp and then realize that I don't feel so good. I’m thinking the shrimps didn't sit right and prepare 2 hit the bathroom when I get home. “Not So Much” *Borat voice* We walk towards Fat Tuesday’s and I think I’m gonna skip my drink. As we walk, my tongue and ears start itching. We all laugh and keep going. Then my head & waist starts to itch. Ok, now I’m not liking this. They turn around so say something and realize its much more serious… My face is now swelling up. 0_o oh shit! So my tongue is swelling around my tongue ring but not in an uncomfortable way. We ix-nay the Fat Tuesday’s and head to the car. Jeannette calls Lamar (Firefighter & Paramedic) and he says skip the EMS truck, give me some Benadryl and head to the closest hospital.
Since I was the driver, My privileges were suspended and Jea hops in and Naomi is on the P-Side giving directions. Michelle & Janiya are in the back watching me. At this point, my eyes are itching, arms and torso are broken out in hives. This shit is NOT cool. We’re haulin ass up i95 to Jackson North and don’t really care about getting pulled over. FINALLY… We make it there.

Me & Naomi jump out, I’m scratchin the FUXX outta my body and breathing like a morbidly obese man. She’s looking for my info and talking to the triage lady. After 2mins, Naomi tells the lady I cant breath & she notices me sitting with my head tilted back to open me passage way. (That nursing program really helped me. I was always the one on the other side. It was crazy to be the patient.) She jumps around the desk and brings me to the back to get my IV started. She says I should be very happy to have good friends because ,my minutes were limited and had I come in a little later, There may have been a very BAD outcome. While this is all happening, I still have my phone. Ppl have different ways of coping so whatever ppl do 2 make themselves comfortable and not panic is fine by me. So now we go to the ER bed area and EMS is in the way. She pushes his outta the way and people are telling her she cant bring me yet. She ignores them & starts going off cuz precious time is wasting. My airway is on the line & i; prefer not to have a breathing tube.
35 seconds after Naomi tells them my name, Nurse Anne comes in & starts pushing meds through my IV. I can feel it in my nose. WTF?? Naomi is texting my ex, calling my mom, answering all questions about me and trying to keep me from panicking. Some how, it is all working out. We hear a lady screaming bloody murder and 3screams later, we hear a baby cry. Congrats lady! lol. After a while, I’m dead ass tired and KNOCK OUT. They keep waking me up to do shit & ask shit. Phones are dying, Jea had to take Michelle and the baby home. My mom is hysterical. and im freezing my ass off. THEN… they make me put on that ugly ass gown with my ass hanging out… Good thing I had on my new Vickys undies. ;) I walk to the bathroom & my cheeks are showing, fuck it, im sick. LOL.
Time goes on, I go back to sleep. The nurse got scared because I looked like I was dead. Sorry lady, I sleep with my mouth and eyes open. LOL. (shut up, don’t comment) Somehow, someway our phones manage to keep a good enough charge until Jeannette comes back to pick us up. GREAT! 4;30am rolls around and they let me leave. I hit the bed & lights out. Got my meds today & feel like caca doo doo. BLAH! & now Im back to normal.. I guess. But apparently im now allergic to shellfish and iodine. –_____- even though I’ve been eating shellfish my whole damn life. Womp Womp!
Special thanks to the fast acting friends for getting me to a hospital in one piece and to Kimi for staying up & on call if she needed to hit it to NMB. Also to the people who checked on me as this whole ordeal was taking place. You never know when something is going to happen to yourself or a loved one so cherish life and live it up!!

Little Girl Lost…

Lost in translation. Lost in transition. Lost in transformation. Lost in love. Lost in reality. Lost in LaLa Land. Lost in a world unknown. Lost in a world unseen. Lost in progress. Lost in setbacks. Lost in herself. She’s just.. LOST.

 

Just looking for “The Way”. Not necessarily the easiest way, but the most efficient. Looks like there will be a lot of Trial & Error. But I’m my own GPS.. I’ll find my way.

Back Under Palm Trees

I’ve been back in FL for a month and for the 1st week I wasn’t able to sit still. I don’t really see that happening anytime soon either. 1st was Calle Ocho a couple hours after my flight landed. From there we went to SoBe for drinks but went to dinner & end up at the studio until like 3am. Then moving for the next few days. THEN Key West for the weekend. I’m not complaining at all but it all gets kind of hectic. And of course… I have footage!!!

Like to hear it, here it goes!!

Please disregard the pic that is up here lol. IDK how da hell that end up as the 1st pic smh.

 

Follow every one in this video!! LOL

@Sn3akrFr3akr @Jamrocksweetie @JNyce_EG @CapoDaBoss24 @Jheanell_Talee @SincerelyVee @Vanidosa11 @L0ve_Bee @SimplyJigga @PoliPockett @Drea_Babbyy @MrWynterMcFly @SteavyE

My Night With A Maniac

Some of u may sorta know this story since I was tweeting as it was happening. But in case you’re wondering how the hell it happened… Like to hear it, here it go…

In efforts of making that “Long Kiss Goodnight” a reality, I agree to go “walk and talk”. We haven’t been face to face since about Sept/Oct. He’s usually out of the country working. I’m on my own schedule. Etc. I mean, I already knew it was gonna be some bullshit since that’s the norm but whatever, It was worth a shot. Fast Forward.. Park the car. Pizza. Cross street. Beach. So I sit on the wall & start eating my pizza. I guess I wasn’t being affectionate because someone had their boxers all in a bunch. 

Honestly, I hold no punches when it comes 2 this person. We’ll call him.. SB. The amount of things we’ve gone through surpasses things I’ve ever imagined. And this is only in the 2years that we’ve been dealing with each other. So SB decides to ask a question. I didn’t want to answer. THATS where it all started. I don’t owe ANYONE ANY explanations. So he gets all angry and says if I walk away, its gonna be for good. Was that supposed to make me want to answer the question?? #FAIL. That was fuel to my fire.

So I’m walking towards the car but I continue past the parking lot, Onto East Sunrise Blvd. I stayed on the Eastbound side so he cant pull over. *Phone rings* IGNORE (repeat 5times). I stop halfway across the bridge and take a minute to look at the scenery. Finally, I answer the phone & agree to cross over. I get in the car and we begin driving. He starts talkin shit so i keep sayin let me out. Instead of going i95 N.. He decides to go south. “I hope whatever nigga just called u finna pick u up from Down South.. & by that I mean the Grove” Then he sayin 163rd… Then he tries 2b funny & say Biscayne & 79th (–_-) So I already have somebody lined up 2scoop.

We pull over off Hallandale & i say let me out @ the RaceTrack. I jump out & walk inside. Call my cousin. *phone rings, SB Calling* IGNORE (repeat 3times) He wants me 2get back in the car. I say no & if he wants to talk he needs to come 2the front of the store. “What u think imma beat u up or something??” No that’s besides the point, this shit aint on his time. No store, no talk. He comes & guess what… YUUUP, u guessed it.. I went OFF on that ass. So as I’m BLACKIN on his life, a car pulls up & they just wait & watch & laugh. At this point I didnt even care. SB says he was gonna take me 2 his ppl house so they can see me cuz they miss me. He gets teary eyed with his cry baby ass & FINALLY I tell him I’ll get in the car if I drive. *Making our way back to Lauderdale* Words are exchanged and we get to the house. We park & I have 3 dangerous, concerned people outside. They wait. We sit. Everything is under control. I get out. He drives off.

Guys, dudes, males, men whatever… need to figure out a better way to channel their emotions & feelings. Kidnapping your ex-girlfriend is NOT the best way to go about it. Especially if you’re not even supposed 2b driving!!

At no point did I fear for my life or safety. This ninja aint stupid. I was ok. It was just aggravating as hell… as usual. If I felt some type of way, i definitely would’ve been on the phone with BSO instead of Twitter. & No.. There hasn’t been any contact since that night.

And the moral of the story is…

If U Don’t Know, Now U Know You’re Gonna Miss (My Love) & I Aint Stressin Bout A Doggone Thing Cuz I Was True When I Gave U (My Love) If U Search U Will NEVER Find Another Love Like ( My Love). You’re Gonna Miss Me. I Aint Got Time While U Sit Around & Play With (My Love).

FIN

P.S. I might’ve 4got some parts but *shrugs* ya’ll get the picture. Lol

Take 'Em To Church...

Ok.. So I've never been a deeply religious person. Yes, I've been taught to pray & give my all to God but never a "Churchy" person. There's been times where I've gone to church weekly & times I've gone to "Homecoming" and others where I didn't go at all. I feel like although a Pastor may be able to help those who are lost and need a little guidance but I know God and he knows me. I pray every night. I pray over my meals. I pray at random times of the day. I Pray. Not just when things get bad. A lot of things have gone bad in my life and I don't get mad about it and lose faith. Sometimes I'm tempted to question Him but I know better than that.

So the real question is: why do people think they are better and act all "Holier Than Thou" because the sit in church and pretend to be so God-fearing and Holy? Anybody can pretend. Those people should be the 1st to know that He already knows about u. Faking the funk. Smh. I'm not here to tell anyone they are right or wrong but just keep it real. & don't say "At least I went to church on Easter" so! Did u learn anything? Does this mean you're' better than the people who stayed home? Not at all. I guess everyone has their own way of giving thanks and praising the Lord.

People get so wrapped up in tradition that they forget what the real meaning of things are. Most "Church" holidays are synonymous with food, new things, etc. Yea, most people participate & not everyone is in it for those reasons but maybe we should all take a step back and look at it for what it really is.

Just because u don't see someone in church every week doesn't mean they're bad. Doesn't mean they don't have a relationship with God. And honestly it doesn't matter what the next man thinks. *shrugs* neways... Enough of my random rambling & ranting.

Happy Easter

Life Without It...

SHEESHHHH!!

Who the hell thought it would be THIS hard to go without it?! This is cruel & unusual punishment. I have a new respect for all of those who are Celibate. MY GOODNESS. Some people probably think I'm exaggerating but I'm not. Don't get me wrong.. I wasn't ON IT like that but c'mon son... THIS LONG?! NEVERRR!! Lol.

As of today... I am 57 days "sober". Of course I know people who have gone a lot longer but I aint them! I'm close to my goal though. I still need to make it 7more days. I should just disappear off the Earth until then. Lol

But all in all, I did it for a purpose. Not to prove anything to anyone. I gave it up for Lent. I'm not Catholic but Sometimes its necessary for everyone to make sacrifices & SEX was mine. I GAVE IT UP. Who knows, I might just keep it up and go longer than Easter. BWAHAHA... Who am I fooling?? I'm bout ready 2snatch somebody's son up. BUT I have self-control. You'd be surprised at how many people don't.

Neways... I won't & don't recommend this for anyone... UNLESS medically necessary. #ThatIsAll.

Mr. High All The Time! Young Nard

 

I’m a little late but, Here I go!!

Straight out of Broward County is, Young Nard, a talented writer and rapper. Although music has always played a big roll in Young Nard’s life, it wasn’t until 2004 that he really began to take it seriously. Throughout the years, he has been mentored and schooled on the industry's harsh ways. While he is still fairly new to the game, Nard is definitely making a name for himself with shows throughout Florida.

Follow @Young_Nard. I fuxx with Nard 1000. He’s a humble dude & keeps me entertained. LOL. Ol High ass!! Check out the new music… & in his words,“Suck my Nards!!” smh @ this guy!

 

LOL. It be like that sometimes. *shrugs*

 

**Disclaimer** DO NOT PLAY THIS SONG IF YOU’RE AT WORK, NEAR YOUR GRANDMA OR THE LIBRARY. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. But the sound effects are GREAT! lol

 

Who doesn’t love Friday’s?? This is a happy song. One of those songs that make everything seem okay. I can dig it!!

Young Nard on Myspace          Young Nard on Facebook

Million Dollar Girl

Gotta love the Baddest Bitch. Throw Keri Hilson on the hook and tell Diddy to do whatever it is that he does and BAM - you have a hit!!
Shouts out to Trina for killin it at Calle Ocho yesterday.
“Who’s Bad??”

Trina - "Million Dollar Girl" feat. Diddy & Keri Hilson from SLIP N SLIDE WORLD on Vimeo.

Long Kiss Goodnight…

“It was all good just a week ago” – the phrase that sums up each & every week that passed us by. No regrets, just lessons learned. THAT’S how I feel about our “situation”. It shouldn’t even be a situation anymore. The “WE” we once were, has deteriorated. Lies, Lies & More Lies. The foundation of this relationship was built on lies. One honest part was the fun we had together. LOTS of fun. Endless fun. So, when I got "HIS” call yesterday, It was bitter sweet. You know how you have such strong feelings for someone but know it will never work? That cant let that be your only reason for picking up. You know what, I picked up anyway. JUST to see what he had to say. Break ups to make ups, as usual. As Toni Braxton would say, “Just another sad love song, wrecking my brain like crazy.” Every time, It’s the SAME shit. Why did you talk back to him? Why can’t we be together? Why don’t you believe me? Why this? Why that? Hang up, Call back. Repeat as necessary.
You know what – I’m over it. I need to think about me. Yes, there was significant time & money put into this but I’m prepared to charge it ALL to The Game. It’s just not worth it. This is just scratching the surface. No where near how deep it really was.
What this means for HIM??
No more late nights. No more dinners. No more Marriott. No more beach. No more road trips. No more court dates. No more bullshit. No more “US”.
I guess for me, It means - I have MY life back.
Of course it hurts, but it’s a small price to pay for what would be in store for the future. I’m moving on to bigger & better things.
That’s a Summer With Miami.
To you, My Love, This is my long LAST kiss Goodnight…
*sign of relief*

I KNOW its SO Wrong BUT It Feels SO Right..

At some point in life, We ALL feel this way. Me, more often than not. #DontJudgeMe lol. I just always end up in these situations. I don’t look for them… they find me. Whether I’m in FL or NY… Its ALWAYS something. I’m not completely reckless but I do have a bit of a “Fuk It” attitude. As cliché as it sounds, I’ll say it anyway: “You only live once & I intend to live my life to the fullest.” Yes, I’ve made a few stupid choices but they could have all been a lot worse.

Neway… Its a HE.. & I probably shouldnt be dealing with him in the slightest way but it sorta just turned out that we click. We have a lot of mutual friends & THAT definitely poses BIG PROBLEMS. I can’t say TOO much or give details because I KNOW it’s some people that might start putting clues 2gthr (Police ass niggas!) lol. We get along great & I don’t really want to cross that line. But we all know how easily that can happen. One of those situations where you know if ya’ll are alone for more than a few minutes, its goin DOWN. lol. So me being the smart girl that I am, I simply won’t be alone with him.

When I leave NY, I plan on keeping in touch.. to an extent. But in reality… Its not a good look for either of us. We can be friends but that’s it. & besides, I already have something else in the works… IDK if he knows it yet though. LOL. ;)

POSE Atlanta

When it comes to Fashion and Photography, POSE Atlanta is the perfect solution for your networking needs. Not only does it give trendy, young professionals a chance to fraternize but, also gives them a chance to relax amongst their peers. The event allows those whom attend to meet in a venue where everyone is on the same page versus being in a regular club environment. For models, a professional photographer and studio is provided.

In addition, at POSE Atlanta, you will be able to enjoy live entertainment, tattoo artists and endless networking options. Whether you're into Make-up, design, photography or many other industries, POSE is the place for you. With affordable rates, POSE serves as a reputable event to help build your portfolio.

You never know who you may run into.

Will YOU be at POSE Atlanta?

For additional info, Please email: Taja@RepJa.com

I Think I’m Gonna Relapse…

I want you. More and more of you each and everyday. It’s like I just gotta have you. Who can deny me the joy of having you by my side? NO ONE. I Love this. I LOVE showing you off. I wish I could take you everywhere with me. When you are openly out with me, the looks on people’s faces are PRICELESS. What more can I ask for?? There’s no better feeling than feeling you. Wait.. What am I talking about again?? Oh yea… Back on task. Lol. Long story short, I’m something like addicted to you. I just can’t remove you from my life. I KNOW you don’t mind. I would go to rehab for you but, “Quitting Is For LOSERS!” =) You’re with me for the long haul. Duh!! You’re my tattoos. ((iLOVEink)) Now who’s gonna do like that Young Cash song & Kiss me on my tattoos?? LOL.

Excuse Me, Miss….

I’d like you all to meet Brittaney Denise. If you follow me on Twitter (or her @BrittaneyDenise), Than you probably see LOTS of foolishness going on between us. Don’t forget to show the Parental Advisory warning because it is very much needed. I have to warn you in advance, she’s snappy & frankly, doesn’t care about negative or stupid people. But all in all, She’s cool and I fuxx with her the long way. When she’s not getting her Art Institute on, You can catch her in ATL go-go’n at the hottest clubs or on event flyers. A picture speaks a thousand words & she definitely has the Money Shot. If you REALLY want to get fancy, you can catch her in a few videos. Her most recent roles include the Lead in both Joe’s "Worse Case Scenario" and Shawty Lo ft. Ludacris and Dream’s "A-town" videos. Salute a BADD chick when you see one. I’m sure we’ll all be seeing a lot more of Miss Brittaney, so stay tuned.
For more info or booking, please contact:
tajamlw@gmail.com or brittaney.robinson333@gmail.com
Twitter.com/BrittaneyDenise
ModelMayhem.com/BRobinson

Mr. Hood… Big Money!!

Despite what’s “Cool”, I fux with Ace Hood. I hear a lot of people not supporting him but they’re not really doing much with themselves so, who cares what they think. What part of the game is that? For the past 2weeks or so, myself (& alot of other night owls) got to take a closer look at the life of an artist on his grind. I’m talkin at the studio til 6am, puttin in work. ((Shouts out to everyone else in the studio grindin too: Mista Mac, Dirty 1000, Young AC, & DJ Dirt Dawg))  U gotta respect a man who’s about his business. I commend him for keeping his goals in focus & not letting the BS rain on his parade. Everybody gotta start somewhere. The Big Homie, DJ Dirt Dawg sent me new sh*t this morning & u KNOW I gotta fuxx with it.

No Pressure Mixtape on the way….

Listen & Download at the link below…

 Ace Hood Feat. Dirty 1000 - Big Money

Does He Know??

“He’s my distant lover, so far away. Dream of him since that day. Distant lover, so far away. I wish i could bring him here to me.”
The thoughts that run through my mind when this song comes on or his name pops up.. One may never know. lol. It gets pretty INTENSE.
“Does he know, what he did to turn my heart into flames…”
I Wonder if he does. I mean, the brief convo’s we have say a lot, most of the time. It’s strange though. You know how you don’t know someone… but you know them? THAT’S what it is.
“Every time I lay down, go to sleep it is you that I see. Wish you’d come to me. Cuz you’re still on my brain. I just cant.. I! JUST! CAN’T!”
Oh, how I Wonder. I’m not one for subliminal tweets (or statuses) but, towards him, I probably send the most. I usually don’t even think twice. No one knows. I like it like that. No one all in your business. What we do, is exactly that… WHAT WE DO. Neither of us is mad and all moody about anything (that I know of).  He gives me my space, and I do the same. Then every day or so, we check in. Works out great.. Especially with his schedule.
“I can’t take no more, I wana be lovin’ you…”
I guess, One day, I’ll tell him all of those subliminal messages were directed towards him. But for now, I’ll have fun with it & keep the world guessing. ;) Besides, It won’t help him if he knows while I’m 1200+ miles away. hehe.
“You NEVER leave my brain.”
9days and counting down. Until I see your face.

There Is No Competition 2

Now who DOESN’T LOVE Fab?? I remember when I bought the Ghetto Fab album… September 11, 2001. Couldn’t stop playing it. Gotta admit, I’ve been waiting a while for this follow-up mixtape. I really don’t wana listen to it until I can sit down with little interruptions. I haven’t really been excited about anything dropping lately… (Except Brisco 4/20 – Street Medicine).Word is, He’s planning a 3rd installment to this. Trilogy time!!! =) & to make it better, Fab is a funny dude. I would’ve never thought it!! Neways… Follow @MyFabolousLife & enjoy the show. Click the mixtape over to download. Good luck, it took me 30mins to download it.

Life Is But A Beach!

Oh, How I LOVE life. Of course, It BLOWS BIG cock at times but overall, I’m pleased with the outcome. I’m down to 9 days left in NYC. Then its back to So. Fla. Yay!! NY just is not my scene right now. I’m not done with Florida yet. & I have some unfinished business to tend to. Hope it all goes as planned.. even though I know it won’t lol. Toodles! *Muah*

Cheers! Now, Make It RAIN!!

I might have the BIGGEST, fake crush on this man. Not only does he have amazingly NEAT dreads, He’s tatted ever-so-nicely. Yummy. He’s a lethal combination. Shhh… Don’t tell him I said that. Lol. #DontJudgeMe. Neway… Back on task!! Honestly, I just respect his hustle & enjoy his music. I’ve been following him on Twitter (@YoungCash) for a while now. I mean.. he’s probably in my 1st 100 followers. 1st song I heard was a sped up version of “On Dat X”. I was mad because whom ever mixed it, took the bass out. Lol. U can see me wildin in the club if they play anything Nappy Boy related. U can even catch me at the red light (or in motion) jookin & vibin to “I’m A Freak”. Few weeks ago, I noticed a post about a collabo with Iceberg (@IceBergDR). I’m a BIG fan of both so I couldn’t wait to hear it. A few days ago… Ta-Dah!!… Song available for download. #AllWeDoIsWIN

**Side Note:Cant wait to slide through King Of Diamonds & see some ass & titties shake to this and me throwin 1s. =) Duuuvvallll!! (Mind you, I’m from NY).

Young Cash, T-Pain & Iceberg – Everybody Knows (Cheers theme)

Jacki-O ((How U Been))

I’ve been following Jacki-O (The Madam of Miami) since I first heard “Nookie” back in ‘03. I remember it used to come on the radio like 352 times a day. My mom was sooo tired of hearing it. Lol. Neway, I checked her out online & downloaded a few songs from “Kazaa”. I was hooked. I couldn’t wait for new songs to drop. I was a complete supporter. THIS is how I learned about the Poe Boy movement. Last I heard was the Brisco beef. That shit broke my heart as if I was down with them. (Don’t judge me, I’m sensitive. lol)As of late, I haven’t really heard anything about her but i DID come across a new song from her (via The305). I listened to it once and it wasn’t horrible so that means I download it & give it a 2nd listen. I fuxx wit Jack though. I’m excited.
Check it out Below…

Never Can Say Goodbye

Sometimes, We hold in to things much longer than we should.  More often than not, life would probably be much easier if we’d just LET GO. This doesn’t just go for significant (or not so significant) others but Bad habits also. If u know me, u know how tough I've had to be throughout my 21 years. Sometimes i wonder why I’m not knocked up, strung out, or shonin etc etc… I just can’t do it. I want so much more for myself. I cant imagine puttin myself through more than I've already endured. I try to help everyone. I’m just THAT type of person. I cant help it. Today, my caring got the best of me. The ONE person that is supposed to do me NO harm, hurts me the most. Sh*t sucks. I cried. I mean, CRIED. My cousin snitched so my auntie & other cousin came in here to check on me. I'm thankful for them but it shouldn’t be this way. I feel like I cant escape from THIS. It’s hard to. I run back with open arms EVERYTIME. No matter how much this person hurts me, lies to me, leaves me, comes back… I ALWAYS accept it.. as if it’s normal and ok. I ALWAYS forgive. I ALWAYS look for the better in the situation. When is enough, ENOUGH?? When do u say fugg it?? When do u wash your hands of it all and go about your business?? I guess I’ll figure it out soon. *shrugs*

Lost Files.... Happy 21st Bday to Me!! ((July 22, 2009))

I must admit, I miss our after hours adventures. LOL. I think this may have been the best night ever... Thanks to my BFFs. Usually, we all cant get together but the whole squad came out for my 21st Bday. It was myself,  @Jazzi3Ron33, Sn3akrFr3akrr, @Jamrocksweetie, & Jin (cant remember her twitter). Originally supposed to go to the CBreezy & Lil Kim party @ Karu & Y.. we end up passing King of Diamonds & saw how SWOLE it was. After trying to find the entrance for an hour, we made it. Shout out to the ladies.. they Definitely give u your moneys worth.

Lil Kim & a sh*t load of other celebs end up at KOD anyway & SHUT IT DOWN.

Moral of the story is: I LOVE MY FRIENDS. Its always some type of Tom Foolery goin on. Miss u ladies & trannys *wink*. Until we meet again...

Say hello to the Birthday Girl. =) 

Here's A Tip... lol

Tat Tat Tatted Up....

It's just something about ink that drives me INSANE. Ever since I got my 1st tattoo at 16, I've been hooked. Not completely tatted but enough 2 satisfy my own guilty pleasures. Big, Small, Color, Black & grey, Symbols, Works, Pictures.. Its just SO much that comes to mind, so many different ways to express your thoughts. I'm currently at four pieces... 5 if u wana get technical. Since a picture tells a thhousand words.. "like to hear it, here i go!!" (My very 1st tat is not pictured, i'll post it later)

THIS is my most meaningful piece. I LOVE explaining it, LOVE what it stands for.. Just LOVE LOVE LOVE it. For those of you who dont know me personally, "MTJC" Stands for: Melissa, Teddy, Jamell (RIP) & Chantel. They are my closest cousins.. in order from oldest to, Me. Lol. We've done everything together. From getting locked on roofs, stealing candy & pocket knives (dont ask) to punishment to sleepovers, u name it, we probably did it. Messing with either of them = an automatic "kick yo ass 1st, might ask later." =)

To finish off the piece, I have an anklet, with a lock. Pretty self explanatory, if u ask me. This was the easy part. The letters are what really kicked my behind. It hurt so badly, I couldn't think straight. lol. But u know what they say, No Pain, No Gain!! It was all VERY much worth it in the end.. Wouldn't change it for the world.

And for the most controversial piece, my Black Roses. Located ever-so-conveniently on  my right hip. FYI, I got this on June 23, 2007.. wayyyy before the Trey Songz track. Even though it DOES sing out the meaning of my tattoo. It is what it is. Not regrets, Just lessons learned. ((o9.2o.o5)).

So according to my mother, this is the little toy go-round thing that hangs in a crib. LOL. Who asked her?! No, I dont play an instrument but music plays a BIG role in my family. Music takes me to another place. Seals wounds, Fades bruises, Cures aches and pains. =) Something about being able to feel a song to the point U sing it like u wrote it. Honestly, I let the artist freestyle this. I'm happy with my decision. He had those colors poppin like im a red bone. lol.

I Pity The Fool...

... Who tries to play ME for a fool. Just because someone APPEARS to be oblivious, doesn't mean that they actually ARE oblivious. Like C'Mon Son FukOuttaHereWitThatBullshitSon!! This REALLY goes for people that are supposed to know u, care about u, and (if u let them tell it).. LOVE u. People's emotions are not to be toyed with. So before you try to run game, u may want to give it a 2nd thought. Because on the really real.. NO peen or puss is worth a broken heart. Yes, it may be that "Wham Bam Thank You, Ma'am With A Grand Slam" (sorry, I was on a roll! lol) but still, its probably is not worth it.

The moral of the story is... I was born in the morning... not THIS morning.

Quit fuggin LYIN & (wo)man up!

Another Day In The Office

Posted in my office... Aka... On the couch. LOL. Headphones.. CHECK. Twitter..CHECK Ok. We're good to go. So I just figured out a lil camera trick with the Blackberry. I guess its aaight. Its not cartoon but it will have to do. =)

Love Lost

Its crazy how there's always a song that basically describes our exact emotions. To the point where you're wondering how the hell someone can be feeling the same way that you are. Scary, I know. lol




Reminiscing, I remember me and you we used to play with the dogs
While you were sleep iI'd stare, stare while you lay in my arms
And now im stuck on stupid rain forrest couldnt get wetter than you get
I used to beat it up you gave me your love I abused it now im facing the music

Oh how I yearn for your touch
I'm so lonely now that you left me
If I could run away you know I would
And I'm hurtin cause girl I never loved you like I should

When your love is lost
Your whole worlds thrown off
When the one you need dont need you
What do you do, when love is lost?

I was trippin wouldn't listen now I'm sitting sipping shots at the bar
Now im riding to the 90's hits listening to Aerosmith
"I dont wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep "
Tell me how I can I be fly without the wind beneath my wings

Oh how I yearn for your touch im so lonely now that you left me
If I could run away you know I would
And im hurtin cause girl I never loved you like I should

When your love is lost
Your whole worlds thrown off
When the one you need dont need you
What do you do, when love is lost?

And now I see
The man you need
When I look into the mirror I see change
And I close my eyes and wish you could see the same
But its too late

When your love is lost
Your whole worlds thrown off
When the one you need don't need you
What do you do?
When your love is lost
Your whole worlds thrown off
When the one you need dont need you
What do you do, when love is lost?

Lost gone out the window
When love is lost
Lost can't see your love no more
When the one you need don't need you
What do you do, when love is lost?